Tuesday, I went to the SAFE Symposium: Ending Child Sex Abuse. As I was watching the presentations, I thought of my co-author. She did all this same work 34 years ago. She started non-profits--many of which are still fully functioning today, she lead protests at the capital, help change legislation, held conferences, and spoke all over. The speeches I watched her give, had much greater audiences than were in attendance yesterday, but maybe that's because I only went to the largest ones. Sadly, the messages from 34 years ago were the same that I heard on Tuesday. The details of the survivor's stories were slightly different, but pretty much the same.
I still admire the presenters energy and optimism to conquer this toxic problem in our society. I've heard the stat that 65% of the people in Utah don't think childhood sexual abuse is a problem in their neighborhood. It's been 34 years since I first started dealing with the abuse of my childhood. My co-author had already been doing all this before I even began to remember. As I was watching and listening to the speakers this week, it felt like a broken record.
When scratched, vinyl records loop endlessly. Hence the cliche “broken record.” Video courtesy of pexels.com
Paperdolls: Healing from Sexual Abuse in Mormon Neighborhoods was published in April 1992. Before the book came out, I chatted with Loraine, my co-author's daughter. I was feeling so optimistic. I hoped Linda Sillitoe's words of the book "blasting light into a society determined to stay in the dark" would come true.
CHAOS
Lorraine said, "Sexual abuse is chaos." At the time, I defined chaos as so much randomness that it's impossible to find any organization or pattern. It's impossible to prevent or determine why one person who has been abused turns into a perp and another turns against themselves. There seemed to be strong evidence that the sexual abuse of children could never be cured. It is senseless and chaotic.
The book's release made a big splash. It wasn't just sensational, I've received hundreds, possibly thousands of messages from other survivors that our words helped them. I think that we also helped raise awareness.
During the SAFE Symposium, Matt Hartvigsen, the Executive Director of Saprea said that the majority of people think that the sexual abuse of children cannot be prevented. I was kind of feeling that way myself, 34 years ago we'd only helped raise awareness for 40% 1of the people.
34 years....
Then, it hit me. 34 is a Fibonacci number.2
FIBANOCCI NUMBERS
I explained in a prior post: A broken heart can be more open.
"I've always wanted to learn about the stock market. It seems that ordinary guys (esp. men) make a lot of money on the market. To me it was just the scrolling chyron at the bottom of the news channel with no rhyme or reason for the price fluctuations. After my mother's stroke in 2015, I stayed home with her most of the time. There is much more to this in the re-release of Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots; however, one of the benefits of being home with her was that I had time to explore new things. I started learning about the stock market. I studied a book by Bill Williams entitled, " Trading Chaos." Bill Williams was renowned for teaching traders about psychology and technical analysis of the market."
During the SAFE Symposium, I realized that this wave of awareness might be timed right with a Fibonacci sequence. 34 is a Fibonacci number. This is math, and without losing everyone at the mention of math, please know, it's natural. The chaos theory explains "...that the heart has to be largely regular or you die. But the brain has to be largely irregular; if not, you have epilepsy. This shows that irregularity, chaos, leads to complex systems." 3
Fibanocci sequences are all over nature. Here's a beautiful photo of it's display:
Here is the same natural image with my additions:
This Chaos can be understood and cured.
The timing for this wave is natural. It's not a hopeless repeat. I hope this wave has even more awareness and energy to break through another 40% of those in denial. I hope that it doesn't take another 34 years, because the next big Fibonacci wave would actually hit in 55 years. Let's take care of it on this wave, shall we?
TRUTH AND LOVE WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL
Even if the numbers seem hopeless or insurmountable, I want to share with you the quote I rely on to sustain me in the times I feel overwhelmed:
Truth and Love will always prevail. Remember it always.
It’s actually 35%, but I’m rounding up.
https://www.imaginationstationtoledo.org/about/blog/the-fibonacci-sequence
Ilya Prigogine, as cited in Trading Chaos, by Bill Williams, page 32
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