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If you’ve read Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots, you know that boating has been an important part of my life. Here’s a pic of me about 28 years ago, at sunrise, skiing to the Bullfrog Marina at Lake Powell:

This is a snapshot of me, about 30 years ago, skiing to the Bull Frog Marina at sunrise

For those water skiing experts, no, I’m not leaning that far.1 During this pull, my goal was to ski to the marina. It was about a 45 minute boat drive to fill up the gas tanks, and I simply couldn’t resist the smooth water. I skied the whole way.

The sun was rising, and those on the boat got several great shots of the sunrise behind me.

Fortunately for me, muscles have memory2. I haven’t been boating since 2013. Several life events got in the way of my boating fun: My mother moving in with me (her stroke and being the exclusive care giver for her until her death); then my breast cancer (complete with a partial mastectomy, chemo, radiation); then COVID.

I simply didn’t get out on the lake.

Last weekend was my chance. I was so nervous. I wasn’t even sure I could get up.3 I decided to wake-board because one doesn’t need as much strength to get up.

Boom! I did it!

Labor Day Weekend @ Jordanelle
Labor Day Weekend at Jordanelle. For those interested that is Deer Valley directly behind me.

I can’t even tell you how ecstatic I was…am! I think I caught a couple of teary eyes on the boat when I came in. I was blinking back tears when I sent the full video to my beloved nieces and nephews.

Again, a reference to Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots, but if you’ve read it you know the close relationship I have with Jennifer’s daughter Lilly. 4

I received this text back from Lilly:

I’m not gonna lie, I’m all emotional about this! I am soooo so happy to see you behind the boat again!!! It’s looks like you haven’t missed a day 😄.

I feel like I owe you so much for truly teaching me to love boating and teaching to captain a boat at such a young age! I sort of can’t believe you put so much trust in me as a 16 year old 🤯. It built so much confidence that has carried through the years and now I get to share my love of boating with many others.

We had the most incredible years and memories on your boat! I will cherish them for a lifetime. I hope this ride was the first of many to come 🤩

And that my beloved survivors is as good as it gets.

1

Stellar water skiers joke that they “touch their elbows on the water” during a turn.

2

Muscle Memory is a term many sports enthusiasts use to describe learning a new sports skill. I believe that phenomena also applies to the “body memories” I experienced when dealing with the trauma. CARLA WILLS-BRANDON, M.A., P.A. wrote about body memories in her therapeutic commentary of Paperdolls. I’m currently reading an excellent book, The Body Keeps Score, by Bessel van der Kolk.

3

Pull yourself out of the water to start.

4

Lilly is all grown up now, with an adorable family of her own, and yes, they have a boat.

Discussion about this podcast

Paperdolls ~Today (Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots Book)
Paperdolls ~ Today
Community, Conversations, and Issues that have arisen for survivors of sexual assault since publishing Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots---The original Paperdolls: Healing from Sexual Abuse in Mormon Neighborhoods and the true events of the subsequent decades.
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April Daniels