How to recognize if someone is trying to manipulate you.

Sales Techniques Highlights

Photo by Tom Wilson on Unsplash

Since I’ve started sending this out weekly, some have jumped in part way. To help clear up any confusion, this series is to help one recognize techniques professional persuaders use to move people.

Background:

I am a highly trained sales person. It seems, this training is part of my personality. My father was a skilled sales person, and frequently I went with him on his sales calls. We listened to sales tapes in the car, and played sales type games in the car. Please know, there are many trained sales people with integrity. However, there are many nefarious souls who use these techniques to manipulate, or move entire groups to commit egregious crimes (think mob mentality for destruction not bringing others together).

Highlights of this series:

Here are the three top missives on the Sales Techniques section. These have the most open rates, shares, and positive feedback.

The founding principal of sales, persuasion or manipulation is:

People Buy Emotionally and Defend it with "Logic"

All sales techniques are built on that premise. Professional sales people will lead their prospects to an emotional state, and then buying is easier. The facts and justification of the purchase or belief are an afterthought. It’s all about the emotions.

Fear: A Primary Emotion

Fear is a powerful emotion. There are very few products, services or beliefs that provide a service that are based on fear. Insurance is one of them. Example: People are afraid that their house will burn down, so they buy insurance in case it does. However, if a sales person or manipulator is using fear to get you to buy into something, please remember FDR’s famous line: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Fear is a strong part of our DNA and socialization, because humans HAD to be cautious of the tiger lurking behind the bushes. That tiger could kill. That fear and caution is still part of us, but we have to remember, there usually isn’t a tiger lurking behind the corner. But, manipulators and unscrupulous politicians use fear to scare us—and most of those fears are unfounded and illogical.

Embarrassment vs Shame

Embarrassment is a natural response to making a mistake. Shame is “You are the mistake.” I included the Shame explanation, because many who have been sexually abused experience shame. Manipulators can try to embarrass you, or worse sense your shame and exploit it. If that happens, please remove yourself from that person or group.

There is absolutely no place in a sales situation where one should be embarrassed, and it is abusive when a manipulator exploits ones shame.

I’ve received many inquiries on this shame section. I think because shame is a byproduct of trauma. Unhealed shame is painful and damaging. Please know, you can heal the toxic shame that binds you.¹

Summary:

There are more sales techniques I’ll continue to highlight and I’ll try to write a brief snippet with links to other posts. Please remember, motivating people can be inspiring and help our entire society. Some use these techniques for selfish and nefarious purposes. For individuals and families and smaller groups: the same applies. Small groups and teams can be inspired to greatness. Others, can be motivated to cult like activities. Remember to tune into your heart. Pause. Think. If it doesn’t feel right, take a break. Pause. And, if the person or people you are uncomfortable with won’t let you take a break. GET OUT.

1. Healing the Toxic Shame That Binds you comes from a groundbreaking book by John Bradshaw.