Paperdolls ~Today (Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots Book)

Paperdolls ~Today (Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots Book)

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Inspiration and healing from sexual assault. Specifically insights, discussions and inspiration surrounding the re-released book, "Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots."
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Recognize Manipulation

Active Listening

An essential skill for everyone, especially sales people

April Daniels's avatar
April Daniels
Jan 27, 2025
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Active Listening is essential for sales people to help the prospect to the purchase decision. An ethical sales person can begin the sales process by actively listening to their prospect or customers comments. Frequently, a prospect contacts the sales person because of a wave of interest generated in the media or viral sensations online. An ethical sales person can easily ask a few open ended questions to determine if the prospect is only contacting them for emotional and not logical reason.

Meaning, the prospect doesn't really need or want the product or service.

I recently encountered an example of this with one of group therapy members. This woman battles her eating disorder constantly. She has binged, starved, exercised her skeletol body to the max. Two weeks ago, I found out that she was trying to get a prescription for Wegovy. She went to a brand new doctor was furious that she had to go in for an appointment. Once there, the new doctor had a very compassionate and lengthy discussion with this woman. The doctor let her speak, and listened intently. The woman left vowing to get back into therapy and get back with her eating disorder support group (not just her CSA1 group).

Active Listening by the doctor. Thank you. Sometimes the patient and/or the prospect doesn't always know best.

If this same scenario had played out with a commission based sales person, it might not have gone as well. Maybe it would have: there are some good sales people who can actively listen and help determine if the services or products they are selling are truly beneficial for this particular person or situation. However, there are some who just want their commission, and would sell a product/service to you regardless if you really need it.

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One of the primary reasons I'm adding Active Listening to the Sales Techniques section, is because occasionally sales people can actively listen, then "cherry pick" your words or phrases. Then, use that to manipulate you. When, in fact, you didn't really say that, or mean it, and they twist your words around and you end up feeling manipulated.

Again, remember, if you start feeling this way: TAKE A BREAK. Or start to ask clarifying questions. Ask the sales person if they really heard you. Even ask them to do a bit of active listening, to make sure you are both "on the same page." If the sales person can't tell you what you just said, then they aren't listening.

Yes, there's a chance you didn't say it in a way that the sales person (or other person) could hear what you need or want. But, active listening is a calm way to filter out communication issues.

Generally, I provide these sales techniques so that those vulnerable and/or adults who were sexually abused as children can recognize if they are being manipulated. I don't provide these techniques so that you can learn how to sell. With Active Listening2, I think it is such a valuable skill to have for most communications with others, I strongly encourage you to read and learn more about it. It can help diffuse or avoid unnecessary conflicts and miscommunications.

1

Child Sex Abuse, generally I’m addressing adults who were sexually abused as children.

2

A few resources to get started learning about Active Listening:
https://www.indeed.com/hire/c/info/active-listening-in-the-workplace-for-managers
https://hbr.org/2024/01/what-is-active-listening
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-active-listening-3024343
https://www.mycvcreator.com/blog/how-to-highlight-active-listening-skills-on-your-cv-effectively


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By April Daniels
Inspiration and healing from sexual assault. Specifically insights, discussions and inspiration surrounding the re-released book, "Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots."
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