Control with Questions
Trained sales people frequently use questions to lead their prospect to the ultimate Yes answer of the purchase.
Trained sales people frequently use questions to lead their prospect to the ultimate yes answer of the purchase. A trained sales person strives to get as many yes answers as possible. Questions can also help the sales person determine emotional areas to push, to get the prospect more involved, and enthusiastic about the purchase.
Open Ended Questions
Typically, a trained sales person starts with opened ended questions. They let you talk, so you feel listened to. The trained sales person listens attentively to feedback and identifies emotional hotspots for the prospect. If there is a strong reaction (postive or negative), they notice.
Multiple Choice Questions:
Then, as the sales process continues, the sales person starts asking multiple choice questions. Frequently, the prospect is presented with 3 options. If the sales person is trying to establish your budget, they present 3 product variables with different options, service levels, and especially with different prices. The prospect is presented with a package, and each package is priced differently. The package variables include a high and low price and one right in the middle. Statically speaking, most prospects pick the middle option. The sales person expects this. And, once you've picked the middle option, you are on the fast track to purchasing that product/service with these bells and whistles for this price.
Either/Or Questions
Next, the buying process is narrowed down more. Now, the prospect is presented with two options. It can be as simple as: "Would you like it take it now or have it delivered?"
"I'll take it now.""
I’ve also used an either/or question of a financing plan or a lump sum payment. Either one the prospect picks means a sale.
“I’d like to pay in full now.”
See what's happening here? All the questions keep leading the potential buyer to the purchase. In this fictious example, the prospect is paying in full and taking it home with them.
Summary of Controlling with Questions:
This isn't anything to fear. Simply notice. Be aware of the questions and the process. If you really want to take this product home or buy this service, it's all good. Please don't be taking something home you hadn't even considered purchasing previously. Walk away. There's always time.1
When I was a little kid, I drove around with my dad on his appointments.2 As he drove, he'd quiz me on spelling, math questions, and we'd play games he made up like, "control with questions"
We'd play a game where he'd ask me a question, and I'd have to answer with another question. The rules included the fact that you must answer with one word and then quickly try to gain back control by asking another question. The answer had to be related to the question, and the follow up question--where the responder was vying for control had to be related to the initial question.
Here is a example of how it played out:
"What's your favorite color?"
"Red, do you still love brown?"
"Absolutely, but why do you think I love brown?"With my elementary school mind I couldn't come up with a one word response on why I thought my dad’s favorite color was brown...and BOOM....my dad would win!
It took me a long time to master this game. However, it cultivated a valuable skill that has assisted me through-out my life. Two weeks ago, the skill to control with questions, helped me reduce a highly emotional conflict. 3
Conclusion:
The primary reason I'm providing this information on Sales Techniques is to help other survivors recognize if and when they are being manipulated.
I can tell when someone is trying to lead me to certain conclusions with their questions. A good technique to derail a manipulator using questions to lead you down a specific path is to interrupt the flow of the conversation. A pause, or a break is helpful. Also asking your own questions, even to gain clarity, helps reduce the flow of a manipulative interaction. You can gently take control of the conversation with unassuming and legitimate questions. If the other person isn't letting you ask a question, you can say, "Are you trying to lead me down this path to buy this product?"
It's worth stating that questions and clarification in communication is almost always a positive interaction. There's some additional benefits to asking questions. It helps cultivate understanding between individuals and amongst people. You might not even be in a situation where you are feeling manipulated or controlled. Sometimes, communication is a challenge. Asking questions helps to clarify.
A small but important nuance is your tone, volume and pace of the question.
If you rapidly yell, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"4 It might be received much differently than a calm, slowly paced question, such as, "What do you mean?
Or calmly asking:
Can you tell me more about that?"
Again, these missives about sales techniques is merely to provide understanding. To help you know if and when someone is trying to coerce or manipulate you. And, asking questions isn't always a technique of manipulation. Calmly ask questions for clarification. Understanding with clear communication is positive interaction between people.
This is a post from Paperdolls.Today, under the section “Sales Techniques.” The intent of this section is to help people, particularly the vulnerable such as sexual assault survivors, to understand if and when they might be manipulated by sales techniques. If you wish to unsubscribe or subscribe to any sections of Paperdolls.Today, please follow Substack’s instructions.
Another sales technique is to create a sense of urgency. Rarely is the urgency presented accurate. Sales people never want you to leave or take a break. Because statically speaking once you leave you never come back. And, that's good for you. Never buy something you don't really want or need. However, if you want it, and you take a break to check your own desires and wants, by all means, go back and buy it! You are in charge.
In Paperdolls & Cowboy Books, I explain my mother’s fear of leaving the house.
I am planning to write on this more later, because this conflict was at an accredited and licensed therapy clinic.
Text is ALL CAPS to indicate shouting.