I realize that the vast majority of people, especially in Utah, are still in utter denial about the prevalence and damage caused by Childhood Sexual Abuse. I’m not going to address my “arm chair analysis” of trying to understand why.1
Tomorrow, I’m attending a seminar on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). I missed the event when Dr. Nadine Burke Harris spoke in Utah last spring, because ironically, I had to go to my own doctor’s appointment.
I hope tomorrow isn’t simply a campaign of awareness.
Seriously, I get it. I know trauma and childhood sexual abuse is a huge problem for humanity. In fact, I’m leaning more towards David Hechler’s stance:
“It has been suggested that, given the vast array of crime and violence which can be traced to those who were sexually abused as children, child sexual abuse represents a greater threat to this country’s future than cancer or nuclear war. Hyperbole? Time will tell.”2
And, Dr. Robert Beck’s statement:
Multi-Generational Trauma
On Paperdolls.today I’ve written quite a bit about multi-generational trauma and ACE. I did not write in detail about it in Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots. At the time, my co-author and I were writing and getting ready for the re-release, I thought that my cancers were primarily becasue I spent too much time in the sun. I didn’t fully understand that my cancers were related to the trauma I suffered as a child. Then, after they found 5 tumors in my pancreas 3 I was re-reading the content to get to the publisher for the January 10, 2024 release of Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots I considered adding all the cancer diagnosis I’ve dealt with. THEY ARE INCONVENIENT.4
https://www.paperdolls.today/p/what-makes-us-who-we-are
INCONVENIENT BUT STILL WORTH HEALING
I was re-reading the content to get to the publisher for the January 10, 2024 release of Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots I considered adding all the cancer diagnosis I’ve dealt with. THEY ARE INCONVENIENT. I had not come to terms with my own mortality. My maternal grandfather lived well into his 90s, my mother worked productively and enjoyed wonderful serentity well into her 89th year. I planned on that.
Then, the reality that the trauma of my childhood, altered my biological makeup and probably caused most of these cancers, I was emotional and mad. I still believed that it was worth it to heal from the trauma of my childhood, but I wasn’t ready to write exensively about it.
My myopic fear:
My unfounded concern was that if other survivors of sexual assault heard my story they’d give up. It’s hard enough to heal, let alone deal with cancer.
Besides the actual abuse I suffered as a child, dealing with it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I do not mean to minimize the pain of dealing with cancer, especially chemo and surgeries and all that. But, for me: it wasn’t even close to the challenges of dealing with the sexual abuse of my childhood.
Now, I know, if I can deal with that, heal from it, and create an authentic life for myself, I can get through anything. Even chemo. Even surgeries. Even death.
Cancer will probably end me, but at least I’m having a lovely human experience now.
Life is beautiful
I plan to live as fully and authentically as possible until it ends. The sexual abuse of my childhood robbed me of so much of my life, I plan to live and love and stumble and learn for as long as I possibly can. Life is beautiful.
My Question for Dr. Nadine Burke Harris will be:
If one’s DNA, or biological make up, has been altered due to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) can it be healed?
Because I’d really like to know.
It’s my understanding that currently, there are studies happening about it, but there is not a solution. And, if needed, I’ll volunteer to help those studies.
My follow-up question will be:
Do you know of studies being conducted that need subjects who have experienced documented childhood trauma and “methylation of DNA”5 or altered biological foundations causing significant health issues? Because if you know of any studies, I’d like to volunteer to help.
At least my experiences and very inconvenient health treatments might help others. Maybe I could contribute to help find a solution to change back one’s biological damage.
It is an ugly and painful subject. I understand why people don’t want it included in everyday conversations. However, I don’t understand those who are completely unaware. To me, those are the ones still in the cave, thinking the shadows on the wall are all there is.
My co-author, Carol Scott, quoted this in Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots.
Which was after I went through the arduous treatments for breast cancer (complete with surgeries, chemo and radiation), which was after and in conjunction with all the melanomias I’ve had, which was after the oral cancer I had on my tongue…. for those counting that’s 4 different types of cancer.
What makes us who we are?
I have a rather cavalier attitude about our development and essence. Maybe it was growing up with a father who was a self-made man. A salesman, who listened to motivational 8 track tapes constantly. As a child, I heard quotes from James Allen's "As a man thinketh so is he."
A scientist friend explained to me that those descendants of the Holocaust, who handed down genetic trauma to their children, had “methylation of DNA.” I provided links to two studies at the bottom of this missive: