Take Care of Yourself First

Before assisting others

Many use the flight attendand slogan, "Put Your Oxygen Mask on First, Before Assisting Others" to remind others that you can help others more if you are healthy .¹

Most people I know, tend to help others before helping themselves. I have to remind myself to take care of myself, even now.

Recently, I had to choose

In June of 2018, I attended the screening of "No Crime in Sin."² A powerful documentary about two sisters, Kristy and Kathy Johnson, who confronted their father about sexually abusing them when they were children.

One of the Johnson sisters was unable to attend the screening because she was suffering from brain cancer.

My co-author's daughter, a therapist, was a presenter at the screening. I almost feel off my chair when my co-author's daughter said, "There is scientific proof that children experiences significant trauma, such as sexual abuse, develop significant health issues later in life. During the trauma, the child's biology and cell structure changes leading to cancer, heart problems and chronic health issues as adults."

Unbeknownst to my co-author's daughter, earlier that day, I was given the news that the lump in my left breast was Stage 2 Malignant Cancer, and I'd need surgery, probably as mastectomy, radiation, and probably chemo.

After the screening and the presentations, I waited for my co-author's daughter. I told her what a wonderful job she did presenting, and how important I felt the documentary was. After a few moments, she paused and intently asked, "April, How are you?"

My eyes teared up. I said, "I found out today that I have Breast Cancer. I'll need surgery and radiation and maybe chemo."

I told her how shocked I was about the studies concluding that childhood trauma can lead to cancer.

Breast Cancer was my 3rd different type of cancer.³

While I was recovering from the breast cancer surgery, I found Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’s TED Talk from 2014, explaining “How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime”⁴

My initial reaction to this information was RAGE. Here I'd done all this healing, wrote a book about healing, lived the most authentic, meaningful, and sometimes joyous life I could--and the damn childhood trauma was in my cell structure?

I still have glimmers of annoyance when I think of it that way, but now, I try to just live with it. I'm going to live my life as intentionally and fulfilling as possible. While still trying to help other survivors of sexual assault.

Dr. Harris Coming to Utah

Last month, I was thrilled when I received an invite to hear Dr. Harris presentation in Utah. She was scheduled to speak at a Generation All Event on April 22. ⁵

Then, I received notice that I also had an appointment to check on one of my pesky cancers. I tried to reschedule all the tests and appointments that I had booked for the 22nd. It was simply too much and too short of notice.

Choose Myself First

So, I had to make the decision to take care of myself first. And, others later. Yesterday, I spent the day at Huntsman Cancer Institute and now I'm sharing with you, in the best way I can, the information that Childhood Trauma, especially Childhood Sexual Abuse is a grave threat to our society.

For those keeping track, I'm a Survivor Squared. Sexual Abuse survivor, and four⁶ different types of Cancer survivor. I'm cringe when I hear the term, "Battling Cancer." I'm not battling anything. I just live my life with as much authenticity and intent as possible. Take the current when it serves. And

Love and notice the joy.

Please remember, there's nothing special about me. If I can do it, so can you.

Here is a very funny video of a flight attendant reminding everyone to put their air mask on first, before assisting others:

1. I've read a few counters to that statement, and well, fine. It's not for narcissists or selfish cowards who throw others into the fire to escape themselves. Overall, it’s helpful to remember to make sure you can breath before helping others.

2. https://www.nocrimeinsin.com/

3. When I received the breast cancer diagnosis, I asked if it was related to the other two types of cancers I'd had. It was not. All three were unrelated. (Except for the trauma of my childhood) Here’s the list:

• Tongue

• Melanoma Skin Cancer

• Breast Cancer

4.

5. https://www.generationall.org/story

6. Four (4) different types of cancer. Since the Breast Cancer treatments, they found one more, tumors in my pancreas. The pancreas is in a funky part of our bodies. The surgery on that one really sucks, so we are waiting as long as possible. And, monitoring it closely with MRI’s and other camera angles and tests.