On the 11th day of Christmas

my true self gave to me:

11 Don'ts to Remember
10 Ways to Pamper Myself
9 Benefits of Dancing
8 free hours
7 item checklist to find a good therapist
6 Songs for playin'
5 Bold Things
Four Square Breathing
Three fountain pens
Two moments of wonder
And a positive affirmation to start my day.

Christmas Dinner Setting Photo Courtesy of Pexels.

All Together Now

On the 11th day of Christmas¹ my true self gave to me:
11 Don'ts to Remember
10 Ways to Nurture Myself
9 Benefits of Dancing
8 free hours
7 item checklist to find a good therapist
6 Songs for playin'
5 Bold Things
Four Square Breathing
Three fountain pens
Two moments of wonder
And a positive affirmation to start my day.

11 Don'ts to Remember:

This reminder is particularly significant for those who are gathering with members of their family of origin and/or extended family: the dysfunctional ones that inflicted damage upon you that your are still recovering from.

Another poignant potential scenario: you have healed from the travesties of your childhood, and members of your family of origin have not. Frequently, in those scenarios, the unhealed members of your family still view you from their same sick perspective. Often, they try their utmost to get you to act or behave in their extremely outdated perceptions of you. In short, they want to cram you back into the tiny box of their reality in which they believe you should exist.

1. Don't be anything less than yourself.

2. Don't forget everyone is wounded.

3. Don't expect much from them.

   They didn't meet your needs before and they certainly won't now.

4. Don't forget their refusal to heal is all about them.
   It's their responsibility. The stagnation and decline is all theirs and it's not your job to heal them, or even point out their ludicrous behavior. Trust me, they know it. And, those that matter, see it.

5. Don't pity them.

6. Don't apologize for their misdeeds, dysfunction, or wrongdoing.

7. Don't let anyone tell you how you are, think, or feel.

8. Don't let passive-aggressive comments go unchecked.

   You don't need to have a big intervention about it. Holiday gatherings are not the time or place for such monumental meetings. Simply be ready with a short comment such as, "That was slam wrapped up in a compliment." And, let it go at that. The person making the passive-aggressive dig will reel. If they don't, then they really are lost in the muck of dysfunction and you don't need to waste your time enlightening them.

9. Don't justify your healing and advancements.

10. Don't brag about how much better you feel.
    (They'll be able to tell, you don't have to say anything)

11. Don't stay if anyone get's belligerent or attacking.
    Leave if someone starts attacking you, verbally and especially if anything gets physical.

Please remember: If you know your family of origin, or extended family, is still too stuck in the muck--don't go!

1. I understand not all celebrate Christmas, or even believe in God. However, for the sake of simple communication, I ask for your understanding of my play on a well known Christmas Carol to give you 12 days of humorous prompts to support you through this holiday season.