Not for myself, but for a world in need
"...my heart still can dream"
When Paperdolls was first released in the early 90s, we were overwhelmed with the response. It wasn’t just in Utah or the Intermountain West. We were all over the news1 (print via newspapers and magazines, television—local and national, and radio—local and national).
I was uncomfortable with all that publicity. I’m just me with my combo of qualities and weaknesses, but I was free of the toxic shame of the sexual abuse of my childhood. My therapist convinced me that all my writings, journals, poetry and lyrics would help other victims/survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Before Paperdolls was published, I didn’t fully2 grasp the wide spread atrocity of childhood sexual abuse.
My solace with all the publicity was that possibly the sexual abuse of children would cease. If it didn’t stop, my hope was that our society would realize its egregious effects and impose hefty penalties to perpetrators and offer extensive support and assistance to victims and survivors.
It’s been 33 years since Paperdolls was first published. I am frustrated that this egregious crime is still so prevalent.
On this Christmas Eve, my grown up Christmas wish is that no more lives will be torn apart. Hunter Hamlyn3 has graciously let me gift her version of “Grown Up Christmas List” to you, to remember, “Right can win” and we can “heal a hurting human soul.”
Grown Up Christmas List, courtesy of Hunter Hamlyn
To my beloved survivors: You are not alone. You can heal. Remember it today and always. Merry Christmas.4
During the last few months, I’ve heard that some Mormon Podcasters state that there was no media attention. Which is very inaccurate. I have no idea where they are getting that myth. There was so much media attention, we were stunned. The book, our names, and the subject hit a nerve in our society.
When one of the General Authorities of the LDS Church gave a special sermon about it at conference that year. Karen Fisher told me that she had never been more proud of me than she was when I responded to that speech.
I’m still not sure I grasp the deep ramifications, damage and wide spread occurrences of this travesty.
Hunter Hamlyn’s website is currently being revamped. As soon as it’s ready, I’ll pass it along. Many have inquired about contacting her directly after her gorgeous reading of “i sit beside the first and think.”
If you don’t believe in Christmas, please know, I’m simply wishing you love, joy, and healing today and always.



Total awesomeness. ❤️