What you’re naming isn’t just psychology. It’s the hidden economy of a culture that learned to turn wounded children into useful adults. Most warriors weren’t shaped by war. They were shaped by homes where tenderness went missing and vigilance became a survival skill. The uniform just gave those patterns a purpose. When we stop looking away from how early that training begins, the whole system becomes impossible to romanticize. You start to see the military not as a calling, but as a place where traumatized kids try to find belonging in the only language their bodies understand. Healing asks us to tell the truth. Protect the child, and the future soldier never needs to exist. That isn’t betrayal. That is finally honoring the human being who was there long before the battlefield.
Yes, absolutely. If we begin by protecting and nurturing our children so much else is corrected as adults. The question is, why is this so difficult and what holds us back?
I'm grateful you mentioned teaching. My daughter started school this year and I am bothered by her teacher. But I don't know how to express my concerns. I definitely am sure she didn't have a calm childhood herself because she is very performance driven and perfectionistic. She believes in the use of threats and punishments to control children's behaviour. My daughter is one of her favourites for good behaviour but I am concerned how observing the dynamics of the classroom will affect her in the long run. She is in her formative years. I tell my daughter that I don't agree with her teacher's behaviours and tell her how I would behave and talk instead. But I worry for these other kids who get "in trouble".
That is a tough one JS. I have worked with a number of teachers(as therapist) and the trauma in them is so deep and they can't help but let is leak out a bit in the classroom, which only propagates the cycle. They need so much support and instead they are required to buy their own classroom supplies. It is tragic. I worry about the children also. But there are also amazing teachers out there and I was blessed to learn from more than a few. They are angels in human disguise.
What you’re naming isn’t just psychology. It’s the hidden economy of a culture that learned to turn wounded children into useful adults. Most warriors weren’t shaped by war. They were shaped by homes where tenderness went missing and vigilance became a survival skill. The uniform just gave those patterns a purpose. When we stop looking away from how early that training begins, the whole system becomes impossible to romanticize. You start to see the military not as a calling, but as a place where traumatized kids try to find belonging in the only language their bodies understand. Healing asks us to tell the truth. Protect the child, and the future soldier never needs to exist. That isn’t betrayal. That is finally honoring the human being who was there long before the battlefield.
Yes, absolutely. If we begin by protecting and nurturing our children so much else is corrected as adults. The question is, why is this so difficult and what holds us back?
Well said, VMB!
Hi Linnea, do you know of dr Darcia Narvaez? Great research on the traumatizing western childhood practices compared with Indigenous ways.
No, I don’t but I am going to look her up! This sounds right up my alley. Thank you!
I just looked up her website and subscribed to her newsletter. She looks amazing, thank you again!
I'm grateful you mentioned teaching. My daughter started school this year and I am bothered by her teacher. But I don't know how to express my concerns. I definitely am sure she didn't have a calm childhood herself because she is very performance driven and perfectionistic. She believes in the use of threats and punishments to control children's behaviour. My daughter is one of her favourites for good behaviour but I am concerned how observing the dynamics of the classroom will affect her in the long run. She is in her formative years. I tell my daughter that I don't agree with her teacher's behaviours and tell her how I would behave and talk instead. But I worry for these other kids who get "in trouble".
That is a tough one JS. I have worked with a number of teachers(as therapist) and the trauma in them is so deep and they can't help but let is leak out a bit in the classroom, which only propagates the cycle. They need so much support and instead they are required to buy their own classroom supplies. It is tragic. I worry about the children also. But there are also amazing teachers out there and I was blessed to learn from more than a few. They are angels in human disguise.
Gorgeous Linnea!! Absolutely great connection between war and childhood abuse.
As a survivor of extreme abuse including ICT, I endorse this 100%!