Beauty from the Ashes
My dream is that we will all unite and eradicate the daunting problem of childhood sexual abuse.
I am tired of the same futile attempts to eradicate the horrific problem of childhood sexual abuse from our humanity. The last few months, I’ve had numerous discussions with key people in my life, and I’m formulating some enhanced approaches.1
Male Survivors
As I mentioned last week, one of my major new stances will be to reach out to male survivors to try to help bring understanding, awareness, and empathy to their pain. As a child, I was typically abused with 2x as many little boys. Little boys are just as vulnerable and sexually abused as easily as little girls. It’s primarily a crime of domination.
Push Back from other survivors, particularly women
In the 60s, when MalcolmX2 and Martin Luther King, Jr. were leading advocates for the Civil Rights movement in the USA, they disagreed on having white people assist in their efforts. I understand the dilemma.
A dear friend is a top executive for a Fortune 500 Company. She has spent years, climbing to the top of her company for equal opportunities and pay. Recently she held a meeting with her department heads. A new man to her team arrived, and asked her to fetch him a coffee. Yes, this year. When I broached the subject of expanding my efforts to assist men survivors, she said, “They always get all the breaks. Why should we help men more?”
I understand. I also understand that little boys are sexually abused just as easily as little girls. I contend that those little boys have as much pain and shame as the little girls, yet, they stuff that pain into the farthest resources of their minds.3 They don’t all turn into perpetrators. They suffer silently, frequently not even aware of their reluctance or aware of their denial to address the issue as a human problem—not just a female problem. I believe that until we address this human problem, this calamity, we will merely make small dents in this catastrophe of the human condition.
I am justifying my stance with the example of Martin Luther King, Jr. After Martin Luther King, Jr had numerous whites at his speeches and protests, it helped with awareness.4 Watch below, you will see numerous whites in attendance at King’s famous speech, I Have A Dream:
Little boys are sexually abused as easily as little girls
This is not a female problem. Until men, who might have stuffed the memories of their torture into the deepest resources of their minds, recognize this is a human problem, we will not make significant advancements to eradicate this problem.
I invite all men to ask themselves questions like, “Was I sexually abused? Have I simply framed it up as physical abuse? Or older kids teaching me how the human body works? Why am I so uncomfortable even asking myself these questions? Does it mean I am gay? Or not tough enough? Did I ask for it? What’s wrong with me?”
Have the courage for self reflection. Be brave enough to accept the answer. I guarantee you: You are not alone.
I dare you. Men who have the adorned label as the stronger sex—are you?5 Do you have the courage to recognize that you might have been abused as a child? Have some courage. Man up. Speak up.
I dare you!
And to the little boys with whom I was sexually abused. To those who have lost their minds to mental illness, drugs…. or to those who have lost their lives to untimely deaths and suicides….
I commit to helping the world see the beauty in your ashes
[Verse 1]
What's left to say?
These prayers ain't working anymore
Every word shot down in flames
What's left to do with these broken pieces on the floor?
I'm losing my voice calling on you[Pre-Chorus]
'Cause I've been shaking
I've been bending backwards 'til I'm broke
Watching all these dreams go up in smoke[Chorus]
Let beauty come out of ashes
Let beauty come out of ashes
And when I pray to God, all I ask is (All I ask is)
Can beauty come out of ashes?[Verse 2]
Can you use these tears to put out the fires in my soul?
'Cause I need you here, woah[Pre-Chorus]
'Cause I've been shaking
I've been bending backwards 'til I'm broke
Watching all these dreams go up in smoke
Stay tuned for more. I’m asking about denial and how it serves humanity. And, is it merely patriarchal societies have so much dominant sexual abuse and assault. Stay tuned. Asking the questions is just the beginning.
Malcolm X initially believed that the civil rights movement should focus on Black self-determination and empowerment, viewing white involvement as potentially undermining the struggle for true independence. He criticized leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. for promoting integration, which he saw as a form of submission to white authority rather than a path to genuine equality. (I snagged this description from Leo AI)
As do most victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse
I am not even coming close to suggesting that this issue is resovled. We still have a lot of work to do for equality for all.
I don’t believe there is a stronger sex. Different yes, but not stronger. My point: women have more endurance (pregnancy for almost a year takes some endurance). Men have more quick bursts of strength. Is one better than the other? I don’t believe so.