I am so much more than just a sexual abuse survivor

Sharing growth, knowledge and freedom

I am so much more than just a sexual abuse survivor

After the book was initially published 30 years ago, my therapist, Karen Fisher asked me to come in to discuss something very important she wanted me to consider.

I was understandably interested and concerned. After all, I'd published a book that "rocked the salt lake valley" and sold hundreds of thousands of copies--with redundant reprints and picked up nationally. I felt like I'd contributed back to all those who had helped me so very much and offered a beacon of hope to survivors that healing is possible. I knew that aspects of the sexual abuse I'd endured as a child would always be with me, but I knew I had to ability to deal with them if and when they surfaced. I thought I was free. Free to learn more about who I was and free to explore more about this glorious life.

When I arrived, Karen said, "I've given great thought to this. It's not a place for a therapist to ask someone to decide on a career path, but you are with another therapist now¹ so I'd like you to consider this as a suggestion from a friend who loves you."

I was intrigued.

She continued, "I've watched you in many situations, many challenging situations, and you've learned how to actively listen, question issues that you are unclear about or the person with whom you are talking hasn't been clear, you are smart, kind, and have some incredible gifts to be a great therapist. If you wanted to become a psychotherapist, I have some strong connections at the University and I know you would get some glorious letters of recommendation, I'd really like you to consider becoming a therapist."

I was touched. Instantly I knew I didn't want to do that. I also knew that Karen was a terminal prognosis, and I wondered if she wanted me to step in where she left off. With as much calmness and gentleness I told her, "Dysfunction, alcoholism and sexual abuse has dominated the majority of my life. I don't want to be in that arena any longer. I'd want to be free. I want to experience my life. And, if others need an example of how one can heal, continuously learn and grow, I will be that in my life."

I also mentioned that I wasn't sure if I could set strong enough boundaries to not get too sucked into others pain. Karen said, "You'll need to continue learning those boundaries more and more, but therapists receive specific training to assist them in keeping those professional boundaries."

I slowly shook my head. I felt like I was disappointing her and I didn't want to to do that. But, I wanted to live my life.

Karen hugged me when I left and she said she understood. Her parting words were her signature cliche: "Go out there and do good."

During that last decades, that's what I've tried to do. And, in more ways that I ever thought possible, I have. Now, I'd like to share some of the knowledge and skills I've learned. I'm going to set up special sections, so that subscribers and choose what parts of the last 30 years of my life they'd like to learn more about. Hopefully get inspired to do more or learn different subjects or skills for themselves.

Last week, I sent out the introduction to this idea. Paid subscribers will be able to get humorous notes about my everyday life, learn about "sales techniques" for better active listening as well as learn how nefarious souls might use those techniques to get you to buy something you don't really want to buy, simply learning those techniques might help one to avoid being manipulated, and daily notes about the stock market. I will try to tie these into healing and growth, and I'll always include options on how to control how much information you'll receive.

Stock Market Chart, photo courtesy of Pexels

I'll also be bring in intriguing people to help inspire, educate and help us grow.

Please let me know if you have any questions or suggestions. It's all about healing, growth, and supporting us all in making the world a better place.

1. As I wrote in Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots, when Karen was diagnosed with cancer, she helped me a transition to another wonderful therapist.