Humor
Sometimes you just gotta laugh!
Humor has been an integral part of my life, always. Gramps had a delightful sense of humor that trickled down to my mother and my brother Tom. Thankfully, I got it also. There are times, one simply has to laugh.
For several years in my teens and early twenties, I hurt others with my humor. I'm sure it was because I was hurting so much and didn't want to reveal my pain. Early on, in my therapy with Karen Fisher, she "called me on" my sarcasm. Sarcasm is caustic and hurtful. Especially to others. We spent a great deal of time working on that hurtful behavior of mine. I was able to curb my biting criticisms and complaints hidden under the guise of "I was only joking." Now, I rarely engage in that negative display. If or when I do, I try to apologize as soon as I recognize my biting, not funny, dialogue.1
A couple of years later, I showed up to Karen Fisher's office for my therapy appointment with one black shoe on and one blue shoe on. The shoes had different heal2 heights! I must have wobbled to my car, drove to her office, and limped in without even noticing the height of my shoes or the color. Karen didn't say a word until I bent over and saw my shoes.
I burst out laughing and said, "I have on two totally different shoes."
We both laughed.
Then, I smiled and said, "Oh no, they are NOT different shoes." And feigned a feeble attempt to deny the obvious.
Karen picked right up on my play on the denial coping mechanism.3
She said, "Well, you could project blame for those shoes on someone else. Did your dogs mix up your shoes?"
Then, she continued in a rapid improvisation:
"Or...you could try to isolate and conceal those shoes by hiding them under the couch."
"Or...you could ruminate and overthink on the color combinations of shoes today."
"Or you could feign helplessness because of our exhausting therapy prohibiting you from understanding a matching pair of shoes."
I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. I finally held my hands up and surrendered and said, "I'm responsible. I didn't notice and it's funny I didn't notice!"
Humor can help us through the dark times! Laugh when you can, it boosts your health, emotions, and social interactions.
Healthy humor is wonderful. There is a slew of evidence showing the benefits of healthy laugher and humor:
--https://www.verywellmind.com/health-benefits-of-humor-and-laughter-5101137
--https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456
--https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
--https://www.discovermagazine.com/mind/what-your-sense-of-humor-says-about-your-mental-health
--https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/healthy-aging/the-health-benefits-of-humor/
Is that a Freudian slip or what? Heal! Heel! Oops!
Here are some of the most common unhealthy coping mechanisms. These list some of the avoidance coping mechanism's Karen Fisher ad libbed in my session when I wore mismatching shoes:
----https://www.verywellmind.com/avoidance-coping-and-stress-4137836
----https://positivepsychology.com/unhealthy-coping-mechanisms/
