Father's Day
A challenge for most survivors
Father's Day can be a challenge for most survivors. Many are victims/survivors of incest and were abused by the person who annihilated the traditional role of protecting his family. Other survivors might not have been directly abused by their father, but not having their father protect them is an extremely painful betrayal.
For those of you struggling with this day, please take extra care of yourself. If you want to cry for all that you have lost, please allow yourself to cry. If you are angry, find healthy ways to vent. 1 I am a big advocate of WRITING! I also love to take a match to burn those angry words I've written. It's cathartic. In Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots, I relayed the story of one of Karen Fisher's clients who went to a donation center and bought a box of used dishes. Then she went into her garage, and smashed all the glass ware on the floor. She had a great time! Then, she swept it all up, placed it in the garbage and felt much better.
Remember, you are not alone. There are thousands of us, maybe hundreds of thousands, dealing with this complex day.
This day is complex.2 It's not black and white--nothing ever is--it's mixed. You could be morose about the betrayal of your father and also miss him. Or miss what he could have been. Be gentle with yourself. If you start to feel like your mixed feelings are making you so uncomfortable that it's painful, talk to your therapist. If you don't have one, as I've stated redundantly, I'm believe sexual abuse survivors need professional therapy in order to heal. By professional, I mean accredited, licensed, and a therapist using evidence based techniques.
Know you are okay. This too shall pass. My heart is with you.