April's Allegory of the Cave

Explanation

Getty Images, rendition of original “Allegory of the Cave”

In 2012, Carol and I decided to re-release the book, I started going through my journals and writings since the book was published. I found my version of the "Allegory of the Cave." I was pretty excited to share it with Carol. She loved it. Then when we were trying to decide where to place it, she said, "Oh Glaucon¹, I'm not sure this intellectual pursuit fits in the re-release.

I laughed so hard I snorted. Carol was very funny.

Carol and I had an ongoing banter that when I tried to avoid my feelings I'd intellectualize. I did it with Karen also. I learned that diversion technique from my mother. At the time, I agreed with Carol. I wasn't sure where we could add my rendition of Plato's Allegory of the Cave. However, I always held on to it, as a perfect allegory for the healing process of trauma, particularly for those who grew up in abusive homes. The shadows on the wall aren't real. They are projections of sick, manipulative parents, and abusers, who simply carry forth generational dysfunction.

After I sent out the missive on my version of the Allegory of the Cave, I received questions asking how Plato’s allegory pertains to Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots. Two of those wanting clarification were Laurel and Jennifer. Both smart well-read women. I thought that possibly if they didn’t get the correlation some of you wouldn’t either. Since this is about healing and not an English Lit class or a philosophy class, I'm going to "one the nose"² explain it.

There's basically 4 stages of healing I used in my version of The Allegory of the Cave.³

1. Imprisoned in the Cave =Childhood and/or being abused.
   Being held captive and abused. Perp holding up objects to a fire so that you can only see shadows. Shadows and abuse are the only thing you know. It builds a skewed and abusive reality of the world. Children in abusive homes don't know any different. Nor do those in domestic violence situations, or any ongoing abusive scenarios. Soon, the victims start believing that the shadows are reality.
   The victim starts viewing the world from the same perspective as the perpetrators.⁴

2. Release from the Chains = Psychotherapy, talking therapy, with Karen Fisher

   For me this was therapy, specifically Karen Fisher. I was released, and terrified to trust that I could move in a different direction. Then, when I did move, EVERYHTING HURT. Intellectually, I knew. But I struggled getting my feelings to catch up to my knowledge. Karen said that there is a gap between insights and feelings. She supported me with patience.  I never gave up on myself. It took me a long time to move. Even longer to start crawling out of the cave.

3. Ascent out of the Cave = Confrontation with my family regarding the abuse and manipulation of that abuse to be something else. Specifically the family myth that I was bad and got what I deserved.

   This involved cultivating healthy relationships away from my family of origin until I finally left the family business. This whole process was painful, but this stage had significant pain with the most immediate rewards. Seeing the world in it's multi-dimensional, colorful, way was like being in heaven. Ascent from hell to heaven. Granted, it took a long time to adjust to the light and gain my balance, but it was so worth it. I can't even imagine those poor souls, still living in the cave.

4. Love for other victims/survivor, going back and trying to help them out of the shadowy cave = writing Paperdolls & Cowboy Boots. Trying to give others a real-life testament that there is a way out, and it is so worth it.

    Yes, I was called crazy and more. But, overall, I've received hundreds, if not thousands of notes, letters, and relayed messages to me of how thankful other victims are that they are out of the cave.

   And, to those still too afraid to leave. My heart breaks. To those perps holding them hostage with their vile projects on the wall, I am outraged. However, I decided long ago that my main focus is to whisper words of freedom to others.

reflections

you will hear your voice
In the wind
echoing love through
the canyons of your soul
dancing colors of light arch
across the blue morning sky
remember the promise
(even after strife)
reflections we see and we’ll be.
you’ll know always know
what is
past the light speed of present
future presence now
presents of more.
you see everything beautiful
mountain treasures rainbows
sunsets ocean glories
waterfalls powerful infinite
and yes
knowing you are more
much more.

Apologies for the “on the nose” explanation. Again, I decided to explain my meaning in my version of the Allegory of the Cave simply because Carol joked about it being too intellectual—then Laurel and Jennifer both asking for clarity about my version. I hope you can develop your own version, with a brilliant definition of your own beautiful reality outside the shady cave of despair, abuse and imprisonment.

1. Glaucon is Plato's brother, and Socrates's student, with whom Socrates was addressing.

2. “on the nose” is a term frequently used by screenwriters when a writer is lazy and simply tells the reader what they are supposed to think and feel. It's considered very amateurish, because a well written piece has widely varying interpretations as indicated by Plato's Allegory of the Cave itself. I have an ongoing joke with Jennifer, if we are at a movie and something is ridiculously on the nose, I whisper, "My nose hurts."

--In the acting/script/play/film world, "too on the nose" is a pretty common phrase which means lacking in sub-text, too obvious, having neither subtlety nor sophistication.

3. I simplified my explanation by using the four stages developed by N.S. Gill of the University of Minnesota.

--Imprisonment in the cave
--Release from chains
--Ascent out of the cave
--The way back to help our fellows

4. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as the "Stockholm syndrome."
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22387-stockholm-syndrome